For the last year and a half, I've been working on being more confident in myself. It's quite easy to do when I'm surrounded by the same people everyday. My classmates. My professors. My friends and family. These people lift me up, they see me for my passion, my love of helping, my intelligence, my heart. I often forget that the other people in this world are not like the people that I let in my little bubble. When I walk into Walmart, I keep my eyes fixed on the ground. I don't look around at people's faces. I'm probably that "cold hearted lady" that never says hello to you unless you say hello first. It's nothing against you, it's just people have had a way of putting me down without even knowing it. Today, I was reminded of this.
I love art. All kinds of art. So today Justin and I decided to go to Theatresquared. It's a live theater here in Fayetteville. I was beyond excited to see Great Expectations by Charles Dickens. I knew this play would be wonderful, I mean, how could it not be?! We got our tickets and headed to the restroom before the play started. Afterward, I met Justin in the hallway. He looked as if he was uncomfortable about something. When I asked him what was up, he looked around to make sure nobody heard him. Apparently there was a gentleman who had been watching me walk to the restroom. While Justin was waiting in line to use the restroom, the man asked him "Why does she limp?"
When I heard this little story from Justin, I was trying to reach into my "counselor" self to have empathy on his poorly filtered question; however, I am human and got upset by this. I kept thinking "what if this was a first date? How embarrassing would that have been?!" and "since when is it okay to ask a total stranger what's the matter with his friend?"
I try not to speak for everybody who has a disability. I know that for each person there is a different circumstance, a different attitude, a different feeling. I am only speaking for the ones of us that have accepted the lifestyle, the ones who want to educate the general public, and the ones who fight against discrimination. Most of us appreciate if you just ask politely. You are not pointing out anything that we don't already know. Yeah, I have a limpy leg and crazy arm... that's nothing new. It's not like I have toilet paper stuck to the bottom of my shoe. Yeah, I'm different and you know what...? So are you :)
It has taken me a long time to come to terms with my disability. Some days I'm on top of the world. Other days I'm dragging my limpy leg two steps backwards. It's not easy. Everyday is a struggle, everyday a new worry, everyday a new obstacle, everyday I wake up to find that I'm still me. There are times when I make jokes about my disability. If you don't laugh, you'll cry. That is my mom and I's motto for life.
Like I was telling Justin earlier today, disability does not discriminate. It affects all ages, races, abilities, sex, etc. If you see someone who is struggling, go see if he needs help. If you are wanting to know what happened to an individual, ask in a kind and caring manner to the person who possesses the disability. The average population, they like to associate what a person with a disability has with something that they can firmly grasp in their own life. For example, "Oh, I had to get a knee replacement when I was 65. I totally understand your struggle." For many people with disabilities, they find this offensive. To the disabled community, the average person does not know what it is like to wake up day after day with a body fighting it's owner. To say that one totally understands what it is like... it's like the individual is putting himself on the same playing field as the disabled community.We do not want sympathy. We just want to be recognized as being human.
I want to encourage ya'll to spend some time with an individual who has a disability. Ask them how they live day to day, what they do differently than the average person, how does the general public make them feel about themselves, and what do they enjoy doing during their free time. You may be surprised by their answers :)
